A girl with a laptop

Sometimes all you need is music, books, candles, comfort food, and your cat to get through a depressive episode.  Sometimes you need your friends and family.  Sometimes you need to be left alone.  But no matter what. What you are feeling is valid and you aren't alone. 

 Life has its ups and downs. Life is a LONG ride. Some call it a rollercoaster. And I might have to agree with that. Life has ups and downs and twists and turns. It has scary moments and it has fun moments. But we all have memories of it that will last with us for a long time. So just take it as it comes. Just one foot in front of another. And just know that you aren't in it alone. You have a crowd of people cheering you on. You will find someone who loves you. And they will be there for you for the good days and the bad. Just know that the pain never lasts forever. The fear does fade. The good parts will find their way to you.    

I'm not doing so well mentally rn. All I want is to ride my bike into the unknown 

 Just finished an interview. I'll find out if I get the job within two weeks. I hope I get this job. It's actually a good job and I quite enjoy the store. I think the interview went really well. I hope I get it. It's actually really close to my place

I haven't had a single ounce of sleep. It's almost 5am. I think it's pointless to try and sleep at this point seeing as I'll be up at 10am. Anyways Imma need a shit ton of caffeine. 

It's the way I want to see my girlfriend but she's always busy. Sometimes I wish she wasn't always working cause I really really want to be with her. She's my happy place. She's my person. 

I have no idea what going on in my life. But I am sure as hell enjoying it. Life's a long bumpy winding road. And I'm just happy I'm going through it with the people I have. 

I sometimes wonder if i should run off and start new. Then I remembered that my anxiety will be annoying me if I go off my meds. 

Journaling is one thing that helps me when I'm needing to get my thoughts out but the thoughts that are way to personal to post. I journal alot. I wrote about everything at this point. It's become a good coping mechanism 

Sometimes I just need to cry but the tests won't fall. I sometimes think I wasted all of them on stupid little thing.  

All I want  All I want All I want I got all I need. 

Sometimes I wish I could run away. Sometimes I want to be someone else. Sometimes I don't like who I am. 

It's the way I can be who I really am behind a screen and with my friends then I am with my family. I am scared that if I show who I really am to them that they will hate me. 

Sometimes I think about how fragile life is. How it can start and end just like that. That kinda scares me. I don't want to spend the rest of my fragile life doing stuff I don't like. I wanna love who I love and I want to say what I want. I don't know. I just don't want to waste it. 

 I spend most of my time writing poetry. I know. It's lame. But it's how I get my feelings out. Sometimes I just start writing some cheesy things. Then I slowly start to write more deep and powerful things. Things I never expected to come out of me. But I like it. It makes me happy. It makes me sad. It makes me feel free. It makes me think about things from new perspectives. That's why I post a lot of my poetry on my Tumblr. It reaches people who are there for the art. My poetry means a lot to me. Even the shitty ones. They are a part of me. They are a story of where I've been and where I'm going. That part is the only thing that no one can take from me. I hope you guys go and find something just as special to you.